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Doctor Who: Night Terrors

Today’s villain: flats.

“Night Terrors”, by Mark Gatiss, is a run-of-the-mill romp, right? Silly, positively rubbish villains…

The fact that they were creepy as hell didn’t prevent me from shouting at the screen “Oi, Gatiss! Creepy dolls? Really?”

Check! River Song-less, angst-free, and seemingly random plot concerning alien kids, Doccy as a Social Services man, and a companion detour?

Doctor Who: Now starring Rory Williams, Amy Pond, and – most importantly – Amy Pond’s hair.

Checkity-check! Guy being eaten by his carpet?

No comment.

Big check.

In every respect, it seems that Night Terrors is a silly, throwaway rompity-romp. Not terrible, but certainly not necessary. Right?

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Doctor Who: Let’s Kill Hitler

(The collective fan reaction to the episode.)

Oh my dear, dear giddy aunt. “Let’s Kill Hitler” is a mad, impossible, brilliant, heartbreaking, hilarious spoiler of an episode. As usual with Moffat, it’s flawed, but show-stopping. Spoilers under the cut – because, after all, “You’ve got a time machine. I’ve got a gun. What the hell! Let’s kill Hitler.”

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This Is Summer: “Farscape”

Indeedy-do, fellahs, enjoying summer ain’t easy… but someone’s gotta do it. During the past few days, we have watched Farscape, the science fiction show that my parents are way more into than me, David Tennant and the Royal Shakespeare Company’s Hamlet, and an episode of the interesting Batman spin-offish thing Batman Beyond (well, me at least). We have also eaten sliders of many flavors.

Farscape first, then. The show is basically about an American Arthur Dent fellow named John Crichton who crash-lands during an experimental flight into a living ship named Moya. (Moya and the TARDIS have quite a few similarities, but I’ll talk about that later.)

Crichty and his girlfriend. With guns.

Moya carries a few passengers as well. We have the second main protagonist, Aeryn Sun, who is an ex-Peacekeeper, a semi-corrupt group of authorities who, though they may keep the peace, they sure as hell don’t do it peacefully. Aeryn is initially very cold and unforgiving towards Crichty (read: she often kicks his butt), but later she warms to him (read: becomes his girlfriend). Crichty is forced to choose his priorities. What is more important to him, a way out or a girlfriend?

Also on the ship are D’Argo (or, as I call him, swordy beardy guy… I’ve never been good with names) and his (blue) girlfriend, Zhaan. D’Argo is rather moody, good with his snazzy sword/gun, and has a dark n’ mysterious past.

Zhaan is pretty darn awesome. She’s psychic, is the only one who actually comforts Crichty early on, also has a dark and mysterious past, and has all kinds of special powers, like painting someone’s “soul painting”. She’s a priest, which can get annoying when she starts preaching (example: episode four, in which she tells us that drugs are bad), but she can also kick butt. I think she’s my favorite character so far, but keep in mind I’ve only watched five episodes.

On to Rygel. The puppet. Everyone hates him, and I agree. Well, I love to hate him, and I think that’s intentional. He eats all the ship’s food. He steals an essential part of the ship to use as a jewel on his scepter. He farts helium. He seems to be the one character who will never change, and I suppose it’s nice to have a constant. Even if that constant is one of the the most annoying, bothersome pests in the known galaxy.

Moya and her Pilot bear quite a few similarities to the TARDIS and hers. Moya has a similar interior to the 9th and 10th Doctors’ TARDIS; amber, aquamarine/green, and some black.

Int. Moya...

...Int. TARDIS.

Something I need to do right about now: Fan-fic about Moya and the TARDIS meeting and bragging about their respective pilots. I love them both.

And now, some semi-lucid commentary about each episode, up to “PK Tech Girl.”

Episode 1 (Premiere):

“Whoa, that’s big.” – John Crichton

Evil dude (Crais) has a goatee and a stiff ponytail, so he must be evil! Also, this charming comment from him shows his character well: “I don’t care about casualties!”

Future Doctor Who plotline, inspired by Crichty and Aeryn’s interactions: River Song beats the Doctor the hell up.

On the soundtrack: OMG, it’s Katherine Jenkins!

Seriously, how did Aeryn and Crichty get out with a FORK?

Things that are important to Mr. Crichton: hot chicks, getting back to earth, cool big things.

Things that are not important to Mr. Crichton: “Science”, fellahs with swords, blue bald chicks.

Crais has an evil black fez!

Episode 2 (Exodus From Genesis):

“It’s kinda minty.” – Another brilliant observation from John.

Crichton is Winnie-the-Pooh… but I doubt there’s anyone in the Hundred Acre Wood who beats the crap out of Pooh.

*BONK* *BONK* *BONK* *BONK* Now that’s how you kill a bug.

Crichty – “OMG she’s not beating the crap out of me, something is terribly wrong!”

CLONEY TIME! You know, last time I saw cloney time it didn’t involve the clone and clonee brawling like this. Just a bit of tortured screaming.

The puppet gets an epic speech.


“You picked the wrong species to screw around with.” – hell yeah, even though he’s totally wrong.

Episode 3 (Back And Back And Back To The Future):

Oh great, says Crichty, it’s the third episode and I’m already a Time Lord.

eww. eww. eww. eww. eww. eww. eww.


Stop. Talking. Like. That, Anything That Moves lady. Are you Captain Jack? Seriously, stop.

“What’s wrong with Crichton?” (I’m paraphrasing) “He is Crichton.” – Crowning Moment Of Awesomeness

Oh noes, female Captain Jack is trying to seduce my girlfriend!

IT’S GROUNDHOG DAY! Except executed well and with 100% more puppets.

What was a nightmare for the rest of the crew was merely “dinner” for Rygel.

Episode 4 (Throne For A Loss):

Drugs are bad! No, yeah, but they’re kinda necessary. Also: *preach* *preach* [1 1/2 hours later] Oh, I guess we’re a bit preachy. Sorry about that.

Episode 5 (PK Tech Girl):

PK Tech Girl == Rory’s girlfriend from The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People. I  wonder if she’ll get killed, cloned, or mutated into a giant thingie?

“I try to save a life a day.” What lofty goals you have, Crichty!

Hot Peacekeeper vs. Tepid Peacekeeper… this is a tricky one.

Doctor Who: A Good Man Goes To War

Don’t worry, countrymen, nothing bad is going to happen to any of the protagonists in this episode, or any episode following it, because, well… maybe something bad is going to happen to them, but we won’t see it, because from now on, this show is about THE ADVENTURES OF THE MOST AWESOME SONTARAN-TURNED NURSE EVER! Joining the cast will be the Silurian detective who eats people, along with her girlfriend,

Hell yeah, but since when do Silurians eat people?

and the old, fat, blue guy.

Hilarity ensues! Only problem is, we’re not sure what to call it. (We’re thinking about War Nurse.) But rest assured, fellahs, you will never have to see any more of the bothersome woes of the fellow they call the Doctor or his tiresome friends. Ever. Trust me on this.

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Doctor Who: The Almost People

Well. Someone had fun with his literary terms book.

The Doctor's gone identity mad.

Yay! Clooooooney time! And what a nice time it was, eh? I squeed (oh, Doctor, you met your best friend ever), I wibbled a bit (cloney Scottish fellow and his kid – aww, for lack of a better word), oh yeah, and my jaw dropped (spoilers).

Rory becomes evil, after the jump! (Okay, not really. But his girlfriend is evil!)

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The Universe From The TARDIS’ Point Of View

Well, her friends, at least. It’s simple, very simple.

Makes you wonder what she thought of Rose, doesn’t it?

Doctor Who: The Rebel Flesh

Sounds like the Doctor's kind of place, all right.

“The Rebel Flesh”, written by Matthew Graham, a. k. a. the Life On Mars guy. Also the, er, “Fear Her” guy.


Oooh, it is cloney time now, more than ever. And blimey, Rory’s got a girlfriend! Hadn’t expected that.

Rory hadn't expected it either.

After the jump, our “trussst” will be seriously undermined, a familiar face will appear, someone will say “luv” all the time, there will be Swampies, a wild Dusty Springfield will appear, and yes, Rory will have a girlfriend. Really.

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