Doctor Who: The Rebel Flesh

Sounds like the Doctor's kind of place, all right.

“The Rebel Flesh”, written by Matthew Graham, a. k. a. the Life On Mars guy. Also the, er, “Fear Her” guy.


Oooh, it is cloney time now, more than ever. And blimey, Rory’s got a girlfriend! Hadn’t expected that.

Rory hadn't expected it either.

After the jump, our “trussst” will be seriously undermined, a familiar face will appear, someone will say “luv” all the time, there will be Swampies, a wild Dusty Springfield will appear, and yes, Rory will have a girlfriend. Really.

Hello there, me, I don't like you at all.

That's good, me, 'cos I hate you too and am probably going to punch you rather a lot. Ready? Allons-y!

I wasn’t particularly surprised by the whole Doccy-cloney-thing, and I doubt I was even supposed to be; they’d been trying to make us think that since the trailer, with the actual Doctor saying “Trusssst me, I’m the Doctor” in a very creepy voice. (I’m not really sure why he was so creepy in that scene itself. There was no reason why he had to be so creepy, like the Seventh Doctor almost.) And besides, when I put Doctor Who and clones together, I immediately think: “Oh, the Doctor’s going to get cloned!” Maybe it was double psychology, though. They were leading us towards an obvious choice, so it must be false! But it wasn’t false at all.

Like a bad horror movie, except with more Doctor and less blood.

Still, it was effective enough, well-executed with lots of creeping behind corners and all. Doctor, you are creepy. Clap for the creepy Doctor, everyone!

The one good thing about clone!Doctor: he gets to hug himself without time paradoxes! Buuuut, judging by the previews… it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen anytime soon.

*snif* But I need a hug!

Synopsis, shall we? So, our brilliant TARDIS crew are doing their respective jobs, Amy and Rory playing darts, Doccy catching us up on what exactly is happening with the pregnancy storyline. (Answer: Nothing but him looking at the scanner. A lot.) While listening to hip ‘n cool music (Muse, by the way). Which I wasn’t very surprised by, given that this episode was written by Matthew Graham, the emperor of music as a thematic device (see Life On Mars).

Seriously though, where'd we get the dartboard?

There’s a nice solar flare, a tried and true method of getting the old girl to take the Doc and friends somewhere they do not and she certainly does not want to go. Voila, they’re in a splendid evil military corporation in a monastery producing evil goop. And the Doctor knows about all this and doesn’t want to tell Amy and Rory, because… I don’t even know, it’s a good day to be the Seventh Doctor or something… Oh, and there is some wonderful Dusty Springfield. Because Mr. Graham likes using music thematically.

Oh, the 80s. How we absolutely do not miss you.

Okay, so the clones? They were these nice fellas you see above. They’re called Swampies (from a Doctor Who episode from the Fourth Doctor and Hot Romana years, The Power Of Kroll) and they are slaves for an evil military corporation. Sound familar? The evil military corporation has stayed the same. The swampies have stayed the same (sans hair and green paint). The only thing that’s different: there’s now a woman doing all the evil stuff.

We are swampies.

Oh, and off we go, on another adventure which always – and will always – involve the Doctor getting hurt in idiotic ways, the humans being more evil than the “villains”, and Rory getting a girlfriend. Well, maybe not that last part, but…

Gee Doctor, did you ever think that sticking your hand into the living goo wasn't a good idea?

We're trying to reason with you here!

And failing! (Hullo there lady, you exemplify "evil human"!)

The Doctor is disappointed with evil humans.

And how was Karan Casey Jennifer Rory’s girlfriend? I liked Rory’s girlfriend. I was rooting for her the whole time. Because Rory needs a nice woman, for once.

Yes, yes I do.

"Amy's a lucky girl." "Yeah... she is." Rory, WHY DO YOU SOUND LIKE TEN?!

Only slight problem: she has a few anger management issues. Also, she’s a swampie.

A bit of a drawback.

But through it all, they manage to stick together. And be adorable.

Aww, look, they're even holding hands. *wibble* You two are my featured ship this episode.

Right then, on to characters, shall we? Eleven… eleven, you got sadly few elevenish moments in this ep. But you did get to scream like a girl and have shouty time… so I really shouldn’t complain.


IIIIIIIIT’S SHOOOOOOUUUUTYYYYY TIIIIIIIMMMMMEEEEEEEE! Oh yeah. I believe I can give you an example of shouty time for every episode in S5 and S6. Ha! I won’t do it now, but maybe later.

Honey? Honey, where are yo -


One episode after he meets her, and we’re already back to pushing the TARDIS in some place where he can’t be with her. It’s unfortunate.

Seriously guys, I just met her and now you push her into some acid pool? Just my luck, I suppose.

Oh, there was a little adorableness:

"Hello, I'm the Doctor and this is Amy and Rory and everything's just so nice, isn't it!"

And there was a little bit of the angsty side of Eleven, too:

But overall, there wasn’t much Eleven-ness, and on top of that, HE DIDN’T WEAR A HAT! 😦

Righty then, to the Pond. Well, she met someone mysterious who is slowly shaping up to be the crack in time of S6…

Guess who?

…she was jealous of Rory’s new girlfriend…


…and that was pretty much all. Funny thing about Amy, she’s alone for once: Rory has a girlfriend and the Doctor’s married! Likely serves her right, she’s never been alone in her life.

Rory, I liked your quip about your constant death. That’s why you need a girlfriend; you couldn’t say that to Amy.

No, no I couldn't.

You and your girlfriend were adorable, but I believe we’ve already summed that up. Basically, it was all good, because you didn’t die. YAY RORY DIDN’T DIE!

Amy is happy Rory didn't die.

In sum, “The Rebel Flesh” is a perfectly good episode of Doctor Who, with an unfortunately small amount of Eleven fun and a very large amount of clone creepiness. The bad: it wasn’t really fun, there were swampies, the Doctor didn’t wear a hat. The good: Rory and his girlfriend are adorable, Amy needs to be jealous sometimes, I’m actually looking forward to the next episode for lots of clone action.

Yes, I’m looking forward to the next episode, bringing a whoooole new meaning to “beating yourself up”. I have a feeling I’m going to say “literally” an awful lot in the next review. And there will be no hugs. Doctor, guess what!


You have a clone, so you can die twice!



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About queenofokay

I'm Isabelle. I'm in 9th grade and go to school at Oak Hill School in Oregon. I love books and food. (And Doctor Who!) I fan-fic as Space Gandalf on Teaspoon ( I also love branding website Brand New, and magazine Mental_Floss. Music - The Talking Heads, Phoenix, Bombay Bicycle Club, .

3 responses to “Doctor Who: The Rebel Flesh”

  1. FallenTardis says :

    Rory sounded like ten?……Now I HAVE to watch that clip
    again….TO YOUTUBE!!!! 🙂

  2. LMB says :

    Well gearl, you are so right about Rory deserving to have a girlfriend. Ms. Pond is not overly affectionate to him despite the fact that he has died for her like, 7,000 times.

    • isabellerogers says :

      Indeed, mysterious person. Rory needs some love, and the one person he most definitely cannot get it from is his wife. He gets more love from the Doctor, for Rassilon’s sake!

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