Thor’s World (Story #37)
In a world where The Soup tastes like soup, reality shows taste like greed, and celebrity shows taste like Botox, my brother Thor is the ruler. He taught them all to see the world (by slobbering on it). He taught them all to never break the law (because jail cells taste bad). The economy was in flux, the court was very bored, everything was great. There was even technology in this new kingdom. But how were you supposed to use it? Apple thought of that. A phone with a touchscreen. Genius. But the touchscreen was far too small, it wasn’t waterproof, and everyone looked like this:
Also, it tasted horrible. Nintendo came up with the Wii. It fit perfectly in your tongue, plus you could say the name while holding it! (Well, sorta. “What are you doing?” “Ah’m pay’in ii ames!”) But nobody could see the TV while holding the remote. Technology experts (“Tecnolobly exper’th”) called in Steve Jobs. He was busy. (Well, sorta. Here’s the exchange: “elo Seive (whistling sound) obs, ah toud oose lor h’ep…” “What? What? What? Take that thing out of your mouth!” “No tan do.” Steve slams the door.) Finally, the creator of the joystick stepped in. Just tweak the joystick. Add a computer and 20, 000 tastes, each corresponding to a different application, and you’ve got a tastetop!
It was brilliant, and everything was happy in Thor’s world. Well, until the masses craved more tastes. They didn’t even include bacon flavor! But that’s a story for another day…another time, another summer.