The Grandma Syndrome(#16)

(Grandma just flew in yesterday, so here’s a grandma story.)

“I’ve located my new subject.” Doc. D, of a normal science lab in Nowwheresville, France, said.

“It seems to somehow cause weight gain, happiness, and increased shopping, all at the same time!

Doc. D put down his notebook and paced nervously. He noticed the camera.

“Why am I telling you this? Get out, or I’m going to efface your tape!

In a normal home, effects of the grandma syndrome were already starting. The grandma had come. Her stuff would take a dromedary to move. It took a few hours to move it. Once her stuff was unpacked, the dinner began. Oh my. Such a dinner. The rolls were so good that they were under duress not to tell the recipe. And the veggies. The way they were cooked ruined any and all health benefits. But nobody cared, even though they were made with enough butter for an edifice full of people. And the chicken. It had about…(something with at least 4 nines) milligrams of sodium. So crispy it seemed like someone stuck it in the fryer, which honestly could have happened. To top it off, there was beautiful music in dulcet tones. Everyone was dormant when it was over. But the grandma was not done yet. There was still…


They tried to refuse, say they were too full, but they could not. She would give them draconian tasks to do. So they faced the 6 layer ice cream cake with three different flavors; mint, chocolate, and vanilla. The cake was devil’s food, and the topping was 50/50 lard and sugar.  When they finished, their stomachs were the size of the chicken in the fridge, and they were asleep. The grandma woke them up, gave them presents, and smiled. This was her domain now. But soon, the grandma had to leave, and everyone was in the doldrums.

End of Documentation

The grandmas are egalitarian. They go everywhere. Soon, one might come to your house!


About queenofokay

I'm Isabelle. I'm in 9th grade and go to school at Oak Hill School in Oregon. I love books and food. (And Doctor Who!) I fan-fic as Space Gandalf on Teaspoon ( I also love branding website Brand New, and magazine Mental_Floss. Music - The Talking Heads, Phoenix, Bombay Bicycle Club, .

2 responses to “The Grandma Syndrome(#16)”

  1. Cathie Rogers Dowis McBeth says :

    As your other Grandma, and knowing your other Grandma, this is so cool. I can just imagine all the good food coming from her great kitchen, and all the wonderful things she has brought back from France. You have described her return so well. Happy times to you as she is with you in Eugene. Love you, Gram C

  2. Jean Sperry says :

    As a “Grandma in Training” or a “Grandma Wannabe” this one tickled me. Can’t wait to carry it out! :>)

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