Story #14: Random spellchecked writing
This is a story in which I type randomly on the keys and then put spaces between the text, then spellcheck the “words” created and see what comes up. Then I add more on the subject. It may make no sense, but I’ll try.
(flake: phrase. to gore Luigis.) “Arf! Woes: weakly, I led hikers…yeah. With ruined spirit, hitching is futile. You lead them now, I’m going to sleep.” said my dog. “Excuse me, but I’d like to know the wind speed right now.” “Wind speeds? Heed me here, hikers. It doesn’t matter if you know what the wind is, this mountain path is absolutely deadly. You have to know how to flake well here, cause of all the wild Luigis scurrying around.” I said.
In a submarine in a deep mountain lake…” We have to find Fred!” “Hush, Finfish. The Feds are coming in; I hear their voices.” “Ha! This is just another joke of yours; you take advantage of me ’cause you created me!” “It ain’t a joke. Life here’s eroded since I made you; there aren’t enough tourists to snap up, and the hikers come too early for you to catch ’em. And since you go up to the surface so often to try to eat one of ’em, someone’s gone and reported us to the Feds!” “If there’s so little to eat, why don’t you just turn me into sushi? Do you have any idea how important Fred is to me? I’m going to find him.” A knock at the door. “They’re here, Finface. Hide.” The man opened the door. “Welcome.” the scientist said, anxiously. They look around quickly, then leave. “Whew. Have you found Fred yet, Fishy?” “Yes,” Phil the mutant fish with a human brain and limbs said. “He’s hewn through my zinnias.” “Well. He’s not such a wee little thing anymore, is he!” said the scientist, marvelling at the giant guinea pig.
“Oi!” cried a hiker as she was attacked by a Luigi. The wild Luigi started dragging her to the lake as a giant fish thingy jumped out of the water, trying to eat her. I quickly dragged her back and kicked the Luigis away.”Oh, you’re such a hero!” she said, as courtesy, then scampered back. “Uh, right. You are unhurt, correct?” I said to the lady. She let out a laugh. “You’re so stiff about things. Yes, yes of course I’m fine. You’re a fine guide.” Suddenly, an arrow shot out of the water. I went to investigate. Of course, my new protegé followed me. The water seemed clear of life, suspiciously so. Where were all the fish? It was shallower then I remembered. I decided to go down and check. But – a ripple, a mouth…the fish swallowed us up. Or was it a mouth? No…no, it was metallic. We seemed to be alone. I tried to drum up some conversation. “So, what do you plan to do if we make it out?” “Assuming I survive the hike?” I think this woman is a little too pessimistic for me. “Um, yeah, if you do that.” “No more ifs. I only care about will.” “Will…like a guy’s name?” I said to myself. She didn’t notice. I was so ingrossed in my thoughts that I didn’t notice a GIANT FISH WITH LEGS arriving through the door. He waffled with a stereotypical scientist guy. “So, Billy, how ya doing with your quest to take over the world?” said the fish guy, with biting sarcasm. I looked up. “Oh, I’ll remember to turn off the sarcasm in my next version of you.” Billy the scientist guy replied. “I am currently catching you delicious hikers…so I won’t be amused if you replace me.” I decided to just blend in and watch this entertaining fight. Unfortunately, at this time my protegé looked up. “Will!” she cried. “I missed you.” I resisted an urge to yell out “You used me!” and remained quiet. William, with that “villain” smoothness, said “Thanks for delivering this beautiful package. I’ll let you go now. Finfish, bring ‘im up to the surface.” Heh. So I didn’t save the day, but I did lead the hikers on a convenient second path which avoids the lake. Now all Horrible William, Fishface and my ex-protegé can feast on are emu and Luigis.