I am known for my jocosity. “The conqueror of pranks”, they call me. I have quite a few good ones. Once, a professor at school was studying some hieroglyphics. They seemed to foretell the future, because they told of a man in a professor’s suit inspecting a wall. Now, the principal wasn’t so sure. He thought there was something fishy about the whole thing. So he called a reader of hieroglyphics, who promptly told him the whole thing was obviously forged. Guess who it was forged by? Me, of course. I called my friend, the antique dealer, who deals with antediluvian things. He took my forgery and made it look old and enticing. The professor noticed it.
That was a really good one, but I have better. One time, a friend of mine was in college. The college required that you write a thesis to get a baccalaureate. My friend was writing his on jurisprudence. I made a copy of someone else’s, switched it with my friend’s, and pretended I knew nothing. Fortunately, my friend found out and switched them back. But next time, he won’t figure it out…hehehe.
There’s one more excellent prank. I have an enemy who is an ichthyologist. I slipped something psychedelic into his food to make him write crazy things, like The Migration Path Of The Rare Rainbow 60-headed Piranha. After this he was already in trouble, but unfortunately (for him) his friend Professor Fred (who is crazy and basically the pet of the university, unnecessary but cute) wrote pretty much the same paper. My enemy was accused of plagiarism. Ahh…the vicissitudes of ichthyology.Everything turned out juuuust the way I wanted it.
As you can see, pranks are very helpful for me. But there’s one prank I’d never play: on a bureaucrat. The bureaucracy would get mad at me and I’d never drive a car again.