What I’d like to tell my TV (#5)
When I’m watching the TV
There are certain things it says to me
And of course I talk to it
Sometimes, but I admit…
(aw shoot this isn’t right for me
I’m gonna have to try epistolary)
You may think you have a clever marketing plan, but do you really think people are foolish enough to think Ritz crackers start a Mardi Gras style party? Or even that Ritz crackers have anything to do with parties? They are buttery, salty crackers which you eat at lunch with cheese. Or with peanut butter. Or by themselves in a corner with your laptop and your little brother. Why not showcase how Ritz crackers can do that, instead? Instead of these LIES! Ritz crackers do not make a party! You are party blacklisted if you set a box of Ritz crackers on the table at a party. Are you suggesting that’s all people should eat at a party? Eh?
Dear Random Blogger We’ve Never Heard Of,
We kinda did think it was a great idea. Nobody wants to watch little children at school eating Ritz crackers. Everyone wants to watch cool 20-year-olds eating Ritz crackers at Mardi Gras! It’s brilliant! Brilliant! BRILLIANT! Of course we are not suggesting you eat only Ritz crackers at a party, but if you think we are…well, that’s just great for us, go ahead and buy boxes and boxes of ’em! And even if you are “party blacklisted”…who cares, you’ve already bought a box of crackers! It’s called marketing, lady, not lying!