Monologue (#4)

This is the monologue (from a play i’ve written!) that I used in the school talent show.
-(Does a little bit where I move the paper around, writes something, scratches it out)
Why is it always so hard? The characters never come alive! Drama doesn’t work, and tragedy…(pfft)tragedy is simply a sappy puddle on the floor! It looks like I’m going to have to write… comedy.
-(goes back to write, writes something and goes up to the audience)
Can you read that? (waits for response) Well, I’ve got  some horribly stereotypical characters: a badass (censored for fear of the kindergarten teachers who will say “Think of the children!”) tough, leather-wearing  girl and a meek, mousey guy, sitting in a bar cafe.

-And then the girl says “Charliiiiieeee, CHARLIIIIIEEEE!” And the guy looks around. Then some other random guy says: “My name is Charlie!” The girl says “CHARLIE! Let’s go to candy mountain, CHARLIE!” Annnnd…they disappear together! (silence)

-That’s all I have written! (more silence)

-(goes back to desk) I knew I was using obscure youtube videos… Does anyone here know how to write comedy?

-(waits for response, if no response say: “It’s not a rhetorical question…” and wait) I think I hear something from the Other Side… I’m going to step towards it… I’m going to do it…(walks towards the stage) (abruptly jumps) No! I can’t do it! I can’t go into… The Audience Zone.

-(goes back to desk) (with a wink and a nod) Well, I guess comedy is about surprise, so I’ll just take some strange characters, put ’em in an odd situation, and we’ll be DONE! (starts to leave) Oh…and that, folks, is good comedy.


About queenofokay

I'm Isabelle. I'm in 9th grade and go to school at Oak Hill School in Oregon. I love books and food. (And Doctor Who!) I fan-fic as Space Gandalf on Teaspoon ( I also love branding website Brand New, and magazine Mental_Floss. Music - The Talking Heads, Phoenix, Bombay Bicycle Club, .

One response to “Monologue (#4)”

  1. Jean Sperry says :

    Even more fun to put completely bland normal characters in odd situations and watch then try to navigate with bland, normal coping skills, that are of course hopelessly ineffective! :>)
    Keep up the good work!

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